“When you try your best, but you don’t succeed. When you get what you wanted, but not what you need. When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep. Stuck in reverse.”
Sometimes life is not what you want it to be. Instead it’s like it says in the lyric above: stuck in reverse. The more you try, the more you fail. The more energy you gather, the more energy you lose. The stronger you act, the weaker you actually get. I am in a phase like that right now and believe me when I say it is not a lot of fun…
For some reason I always end up in this phase around this time of the year. I get less motivated, less productive, I can’t sleep, my mental health goes downhill and I get overall more tired. One theory is that the mind imitates the weather, which is gatting rainier and more grey by the day. But since my love for autumn is as big as it is I’m not exactly convinced.
Whatever the reason is, the fact remains that it’s tiring to be tired. Every tiny little task feels like a mountain rising up in front of me and the thought of climbing it becomes a mountain of it’s own. It’s a bad cycle that ends with me stressing out over the fact that I’m stressing out. The source can not be cut to solve the problem since the problem itself is the source of it.
It is at this moment that I just have to accept that this is how it’s going to be for a while ahead. Mental breakdowns are going to become a part of my everyday life, my bad mood is going to feel like my personality and I’m probably going to call in sick more now than ever. But it’s just a phase. I will handle it, I will move forward and eventuelly I will get out of it. Soon I will no longer be stuck in reverse.
Bloggers and influencers of other kinds rarely show their downs of their lives if that’s not their niche. It’s all ups, and I understand that that is what they choose to show. Even if I have brought up sensitive subjects I have always tried to keep a positive tone whilst doing so. Today, I didn’t. Maybe it’s because I’m in this phase I’ve been writing about, but it doesn’t really matter. Because this is as much, if not more, me than anything else I’ve written and shared here. Life isn’t just ups.
I am anyhow going to encourage you to stay original, gorgeous. xoxo
The one and the same thing can be done with different levels of ease depending on ones attitude towards it. Or rather ones reasons behind it. Doing things just because you have to is for example significantly more demanding than doing things because you think they are fun… So, how do you make the demanding tasks easy? By finding the right motivation.
When I first started Originally My about a year ago it didn’t take long before I made posts only for the sake of it. I was so hung up on posting every secound day that I completely forgot about actually filling the posts with content I was proud of and found inspiring. Instead of writing about subjects I cared about I constantly grasped after the first best thing, a strategy that was highly unsustainable for a longer period of time.
Since I restarted it all this summer I have only published posts I think are good. Many of them could be much better, both regarding the writing and the photography, but they are me. My style, my skills, my values. Why? Because I write them for me. My motivation to make posts is no longer to create the perfect website, as it was last year, but rather to express my creativity and hopefully inspire someone else. I’ve found a new, more motivating, motivation.
The same goes for pretty much anything. Are you trying to start running? Sign up for a race you can’t get out of. Do you have to clean out your wardrobe? Think of all of the new clothes you will be able to fill it with. Are you studying something boring which seems to be a complete waste of time? Find something in your future that may benefit from you learning all of it now. Or, you could just bribe yourself with candy…
It’s all about finding the right motivation for you.
I wish you the best of luck with that, and don’t you forget to stay original! xoxo
After my post What Everybody Should Do ASAP I recieved many kind words from my friends. They told me that it was such a beautifully written post and that I was very strong to open up and share my thoughts and feelings about this – somewhat sensitive – subject.
For me it was a natural thing to do. The subject I wrote about was something I was struggling with, so when I found a solution that actually made me feel better I didn’t see any reason not to inform others of it and it’s benefits. I was just happy to maybe help someone.
But obviously it’s not that natural for everyone. I think the reason why I find it easy to open up about different issues I might have is that I’ve stopped fleeing from them. By really embracing them and accepting that they’re a part of me and my life I subconsciously work them through. Without even realising it, I’m sorting things out. I’m making connections and drawing conclusions about why I’m experiencing what I’m experiencing, why I’m feeling what I’m feeling, and eventually find the hidden source of it all.
When I’ve done that I’ve made peace with the problem. I don’t find it as bothering anymore, even if it of course still makes certain situations in my life much harder than they should be. But if someone in that situation asks me what’s wrong I can without doubt tell them. Not the whole story, but enough to make them understand.
Then I can see why sharing it on the world wide web can seem a bit more terrifying (even on a small site like mine). What makes me want and dare to share my worked through information here is that I would’ve wanted someone to provide me that information while I was struggling with the problem. So when I write posts about sensitive subjects, it’s simply because I hope it will keep someone else from feeling like they’re going through the same thing on their own.
I’m not sure if all of this makes sense, but to somewhat sum things up I think it’s important to embrace ones problems and make peace with them. Not only will that make it easier to handle situations where a problem shows it’s true colours, but it will also make it easier to talk about it. With one self, a friend, a teacher, a parent, a computer… You name it.
I hope you found this post inspiring. Stay original, xoxo
Failure is a scary thing. The fear of not succeeding keeps many from doing what they really want to do. Especially when it comes to trying something new or doing something which is not totally accepted by ones community. The hankering to prove those people, those who don’t accept your ideas, wrong is not bigger than the fear of failing and having to hear people think “Who did you think you were to think you could do something like that?”.
This post is going to be all about that. Success, failure and the importance of trying and trying again. Being scared of failing eliminates the oppurtunity to both personal and global development. It also deprives you of your freedom. Being locked up is not necessarily a physical state, the restrictions you put on your passions and true wishes are just as prohibiting.
In Sweden we have a concept called “Jantelagen”. It’s basically a norm which claims that no one can stand out or think they are capable of something someone else isn’t. In smaller places, such as where I live, this norm is taken seriously. If you get the choice to go big or go home, you’re expected to go home. In a reality like that it’s hard to not be afraid of failing when doing something which breaks “Jantelagen”.
I’ve struggled to truly be myself. To do what I want to do, to over-win my fear of failing. I have not yet crossed the finish line, but I have reached a point where I’m not afraid to dream. I’m not afraid to have visions, set goals or think further than my community might want me to. But most importantly: I’m not afraid to get up when I fall. I’m not afraid to try again after one failed attempt. Or four for that matter.
Furthermore I’m having a hard time grasping how you’re supposed to reach success without failing. As I’ve written in one of my songs (yes, I write songs): when you succeed, you succeed, when you bleed, you learn. Every fail comes with a lesson. Don’t let that new knowledge be wasted! Give it another shot and put it to good use! If you once beat the fear of failing and get started with whatever you want to do, the next step is to not give up in case you actually fail. Because you probably will, the first time. But failure is not the end. It’s the start of a new beginning.
Stay original gorgeous, I believe in you. xoxo
I am now going to tell you a story. It’s an important one when it comes to my personal growth as well as health and therefore I feel obligated to share it. Because what I end up doing in the end of this story is something I think every single person on this planet should do too.
It was a day in late April. As the amount of sun-hours grew, so did the number of people talking about bikini bodies. My superficial insecurities thrived from all of the perfectly toned stomachs and unbelievebly lifted butts I saw more and more often on Instagram. One day I realised that I was feeling happy about being hungry. My brain had compromised it all to that the way of achieving what I wanted, or what society told me I wanted, was to not eat (I’m not too comfortable talking about my relationship with food yet but I think you get the gesture).
The same day I was lying on my couch, scrolling through Instagram. About half of the pictures made me think about the realisation I’d just had. I was suffocating from hearing all the different voices in my head. “I need to start working out”, “I need to stop eating so much”, “You do not need to do shit, now finish your cookie”. The last thought won that battle. I did not fall for the pressure of achieving the unachievable. Instead, in panic and frustration, I went through all of the people I was following on Instagram and unfollowed every single account which made me feel bad about myself. I believe that was around 120 accounts.
Doing that was one of the best things I’ve EVER done. I felt so empowered and proud from being able to cut the cords to so many different sources of illness. Because I didn’t just unfollow people who made me feel bad about my body, but also people from my past who had treated me badly and made me feel bad all over again just by being in my feed. To somehow turn these words into a clear message, I really encourage you to do what I did: clear out sources of illness from your social media, especially Instagram. It’s such a small thing to do but it changes sooo much. And while you’re at it, you can start following some nice and positive acounts such as @selfloveclub, @bodypositivememes, @omgkenzieee and @bodyposipanda.
Stay original, stay strong and take good care of yourself gorgeous. xoxo